You just never know when something is going to smash you in the face like a wet fish and make you relive traumatic events in your life or deal with some tragedy.
Following my three part Life Gone Awry blogs, I was feeling pretty in control of my emotions and was moving forward to my future, right up until I visited a friend who knew the other people involved and wanted to hear my story about why I had done what I had done. There was no condemnation on his part, he just wanted to know my side of the story. I was honest with him about the reasons for my actions but at the same time I got extremely uncomfortable discussing it as the lead up to my crime was a very stressful, and emotional time for me, but that is still no excuse for my actions.
This experience has made me realise that no matter how much time passes, there will always remain with me a degree of emotionality regarding this chapter of my life. I was pretty upset for a few days but today I told myself.. suck it up princess, you did wrong, you will have to live with that for the rest of your life so just deal with it already.
It is important to understand that these terrible moments do define us to a degree, it is how we let them define us that is important, the important thing is to let it define me in a positive manner and to grow and learn from this small but very significant chapter in my life.
I certainly don’t want people’s sympathy, I did the wrong thing and I own that i was just surprised that just over three years from being released, being in a steady mostly happy relationship, and excelling at University that I had overcome the emotional issues attached to my crime, well I got that one wrong…..
I learned yesterday that a woman I met in the prison system was killed on Friday in Melbourne after having been struck down by a truck. This is such a tragic thing to happen, she too like me, was simply trying to re-establish her life and make a fresh go of things…. it just proves that you need to live every day in a positive way and live life to the fullest, don’t fret the past, seek promise in the future.